Hello investors! Cave Johnson here! Are you sick of those damn Combine getting in your way on your morning commute? Hell! Why not just those stupid pedestrians that think they are impervious to your front bumper? Well, now we have the solution! Introducing the turret speed bike! Now you can shoot those bastards out of our way! Got road rage? Let them know it by opening fire! Why not play the points game with your friends? With the Aperture Science Turret Speed Bike life is a highway AND a shooting range! Cave Johnson, we're done here.
Yeah, I want one.